Installing a husband

The following was emailed to me but I found it so funny that, well, here you go:


INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overal

system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly

under Boyfriend 5.0 .

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
* Romance 9.5 and
* Personal Attention 6.5,

and then installed undesirable programs , such as

* NHL 5.0,
* CFL 3.0 and
* MLB 4.1

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system.

* Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.

DEAR DESPERATE ,

First, keep in mind,
* Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
* Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget

to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
* If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications

Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to

Grumpy Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 .
* Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download theSnoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, D0 NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the

background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to re - install the Boyfriend 5.0 program.

These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot

learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve

memory and performance. We recommend
* Cooking 3.0 and
* Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Desperate